It seems like everything's turning to black again. It's not that i am doing drugs or such things xD What i mean is, Depression. It's taking over again, as you see on my other blog post. I've been blogging about my emotional feels and it's not in a good condition right now. I would definitely breakdown in any moment. I don't even understand what do i really want or what i really want to do. I just want to have a happy life, friends who loves being you around, showing your real self, loving parents, peaceful environment. But too bad,  i don't have either one of that. Let's start with friends, i think i'm just there with them but they will never get me. I'll be with them, laugh with them but when i'm not around they won't search for me. In short, I'm not an important person for my friends. That hurts, y'know? Second, Showing my real self. I'm a fangirl type of girl, i do get chills down my spine easily. I would spaz in front of everybody. Because that's me. That's who i really am. But i think i'm starting to annoy them and as i said before, i don't want to them to look at me different. I don't want to make me feel worthless. Loving Parents? My mom and dad are separated and i'm still in progress to get over that. I just want a complete family, To have a dad who would treat me as a princess and to have a mom who would treat me like a diamond. BUT NO. I just... cant. :( Then lastly, About the peaceful environment. Of course, i do want those people around me two be comfortable with me. But it seems like we all have gaps, it's like we won't click whatever we do. You're trying to be nice but when you turn around, mean things are stabbing behind you. You don't want that right? That's what I've been feeling.

I'm so sorry blog, for another dramatic post. I just ... can't say it to other people. I feel so alone, i don't have someone to talk with it but you.

It seems like everything's turning to black again. It's not that i am doing drugs or such things xD What i mean is, Depression. It's taking over again, as you see on my other blog post. I've been blogging about my emotional feels and it's not in a good condition right now. I would definitely breakdown in any moment. I don't even understand what do i really want or what i really want to do. I just want to have a happy life, friends who loves being you around, showing your real self, loving parents, peaceful environment. But too bad,  i don't have either one of that. Let's start with friends, i think i'm just there with them but they will never get me. I'll be with them, laugh with them but when i'm not around they won't search for me. In short, I'm not an important person for my friends. That hurts, y'know? Second, Showing my real self. I'm a fangirl type of girl, i do get chills down my spine easily. I would spaz in front of everybody. Because that's me. That's who i really am. But i think i'm starting to annoy them and as i said before, i don't want to them to look at me different. I don't want to make me feel worthless. Loving Parents? My mom and dad are separated and i'm still in progress to get over that. I just want a complete family, To have a dad who would treat me as a princess and to have a mom who would treat me like a diamond. BUT NO. I just... cant. :( Then lastly, About the peaceful environment. Of course, i do want those people around me two be comfortable with me. But it seems like we all have gaps, it's like we won't click whatever we do. You're trying to be nice but when you turn around, mean things are stabbing behind you. You don't want that right? That's what I've been feeling.

I'm so sorry blog, for another dramatic post. I just ... can't say it to other people. I feel so alone, i don't have someone to talk with it but you.